we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
