every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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