You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
