You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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