it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I think I sprained my soul last night
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
