This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
