im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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