I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
