Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize