lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.