O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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