I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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