i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I could fuck to npr.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
