I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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