Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
