No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
