ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
