He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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