Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
