Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
