I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
