erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Everything about him screamed your future.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
