She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
