We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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