he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
