I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
