what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
