Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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