i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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