then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i wish my penis had a tongue
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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