the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
