I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize