How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
