There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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