I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
