it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
