So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
