I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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