he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
