"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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