What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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