Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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