it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
