so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
