with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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