there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize