watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize