I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
porn star boner night. come get it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
