I cannot find my penis.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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