Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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