I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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