We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
