she was so not down for the gang bang
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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