It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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