exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
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Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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